droūning (drowning)

droūning (drowning)
Spray Paint on Wooden Panel
24in x 30in

I can’t breathe
Everything is closing in on me
My lungs are full with memories from my past
Crippling pain
Fixation on drugs
Detrimental coping methods
Abuse
I can feel myself start to give in
Give in to my urges
Give in to the torture
Give in
Give up
The chaos pulls me under
My demons hold me tighter
I can’t escape
I can’t come up for air
I’m drowning
I’m drowning in the darkness
I’m drowning in the torment
I’m drowning
It’s silent
It’s just me and my demons
I hold my breathe
Ready to give in this time
I’ve fought hard
I’ve remained resilient
But it’s become to much
I can see the bottom
I begin to let myself fall
Until I see The Twilight Zone
A touch of light in all of this dark
I reach for the light but I can’t grasp it
I swim
I fight
I push
Until I am finally able to breathe again
The light is hope
Hope for a better future that doesn’t include my past
The light is love
Love that captivates
The light is freedom
Freedom to be who I want to be
Freedom to live how I want to live
The light is happiness
Happiness that intoxicates my very being
Foreign concepts
Yet here they are
Saving me
Saving me from myself
Saving me from my past
Saving me from my pain
Saving me from drowning
A breathe of fresh air
A passion for life
A hope for the future
A hope for my future
I’ve spent years drowning
Now it’s my time to live.

- Emily Minor