Who Am I? Artist Story.
In the past few weeks I have found a rise in interest about who I am and how I became an artist. I am humbled by the fact that you are interested in me and my art practice and I am excited to share part of my story with you.
Two years ago, I would not have been able to answer your questions of who I was. I was incredibly lost and deeply saddened by my life. I was working two full-time jobs after completing post secondary, while simultaneously battling depression and drug addiction. After many months of living in a dark hole, I made the decision to leave everything that I knew behind and work on finding myself. During this time of self discovery I learned an incredible amount about who I am and also who I strive to be. I discovered that I was severely lacking the creativity that I so desperately needed in my life. And I missed connecting with others who struggled with the realities of life and helping them through that struggle.
This longing for art and connections led me to a challenge that I created for myself. I challenged myself to 5 weeks of 5 different arts. I hoped that after the 5 weeks, I would find one that I want to fit into my daily life to inspire and connect me. I wanted to spend one week painting, writing, drawing, singing and even DJing. I decided to begin the challenge with painting and I never stopped. Two years later, I am a full time artist and I live every day with passion, laughter and paint.
As a young girl, I thrived on using a paint brush or pencil to illustrate how I felt. It gave me the feeling of freedom which I did not often experience as a child. No matter how much I adored creating, I was not given the love and support that I needed at such a young age and quickly gave up on any dreams that I once had. It took many years of therapy and love to work through my childhood and believe in myself once again. Still, I never imagined I would be successfully running my own art practice and wake up every day with a smile on my face.
As for my poetry, I have been writing my entire life. Sharing my thoughts into the world rather than keeping them inside has always been therapeutic and necessary for me. Just the other day I was on the phone with my Mom and she pointed out to me that I have always been this way. I have always wanted to share my thoughts and feelings with the world because it helps me inside. Now I hope to help others as well as myself. Writing will always be something that I can rely on and put myself into. I never expected to make a career out of it, but sharing myself with the world is truly liberating. My writing was always for me but now to share it with all of you is something that I take so much pride in.
The moment I created my first painting I knew that I wanted to pair my poetry with paintings. But it actually took me months to share my first poem online for the world to see. This poem was titled ˈjərnē. It appears to me that I was too scared to share these parts of me with others. To share the darkness, the sorrow, the pain. The world is judgemental and harsh but it is also open and loving. It still terrifies me to share these deep wounds but the outpour of love and support that I receive when sharing my poetry is mindblowing. I find myself grateful every day for the support I have had on this journey.
The last two years have come in waves. An incredible amount happens when you decide you deserve better and you can do better. It has not been easy and I don't think it ever will be nor should it be. Being in charge of your own life is hard work but to me, it is the best way to live. There have been times that I thought it would be difficult to carry on and others where no rain could ruin my parade. Falling in love has impacted me in the most nurturing, beautiful way and certainly helped in the darkest times. Although, no matter what has been thrown at me since I started this journey, I have never once regretted the decision that I made to follow my dreams and put my all into MY work. Living everyday at peace with my decisions, my life and my mind has allowed me to be the healthiest and happiest that I have ever been.
Thank you for joining along this crazy adventure with me and giving me the opportunity to share part of my story.